How To Descrbe An Idiot

• A few fries short of a happy meal.
• The wheel is spinning but the hamster is dead.
• A few bricks shy of a full load.
• Couldn't pour water out of a boot with the instructions on the heel.
• Fell out of the stupid tree and hit all of the branches on the way down.
• Doesn't have all his dogs on one leash.
• Doesn't know much, but leads the league in nostril hair.
• Elevator doesn't go all the way to the top floor.
• Forgot to pay his brain bill.
• A few clowns short of a circus.
• If he had another brain it would be lonely.
• Too much yardage between the goal posts.
• An experiment in Artificial Stupidity.
• A few beers short of a six-pack.
• Dumber than a box of hair.
• A few peas short of a casserole.
• Doesn't have all his corn flakes in one bowl.
• A few feathers short of a whole duck.
• All foam no beer.
• The cheese slid off of his cracker.
• Body by Fisher, brains by Mattel.
• Has an IQ of 2, but it takes 3 to grunt.
• An intellect rivaled only by garden tools.
• As smart as bait.
• Chimney's clogged.
• Her sewing machine is out of thread.
• His antenna doesn't get all of the channels.
• Missing a few buttons on the remote control.
• No grain in the silo.
• Proof that evolution CAN go in reverse.
• His belt doesn't go through all the loops.
• Receiver is off the hook.
• Several nuts short of a full pouch.
• Skylight leaks a little.
• Slinky's kinked.
• Surfing in Nebraska.
• In the pinball game of life, his flippers are a little too far apart.

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Last Updated:  02/26/01 07:15 PM About this page contact: Mark Brumels